Unsaid love: goodbye, light

Thursday, April 24, 2014

I sit in desperation, in hopelesness, in vain. The body laid in front of me is stiff, rising and falling together with me. Beauty was once there in the eyes of the beholder. But to me, there is more to what the eyes see.

I close my eyes. I hold her left hand. I feel the coldness of our wedding ring strikes into my heart. I feel beauty through her thin fingers, through her callous hands that dilligently caress every flowers she planted. I feel beauty through her bones that gently rock my children to sleep. I feel beauty through her skin that touches my face everytime I bid goodbye. My senses feel her beauty.

I look at her face. Her light is fading. My sight is fading too. But as everything fades, light pierces though my eyes. I blinked. And I know it's time. I draw closer to her lit face. She shines for the last time. God permits one last light.

"You have felt more pain than my soul can bear. Now I won't hold onto your presence. I will release your sufferings. I will hold our kids along with our memories of you. No worries. I'm letting you go."  

With my last whispery breath, her cheek falls to mine. I kiss her ear. I stroke her dark hair and lift my face. I see light falls on her forehead. I kiss the light. And I kiss goodbye.

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