Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts

Unsaid love: goodbye, light

Thursday, April 24, 2014

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I sit in desperation, in hopelesness, in vain. The body laid in front of me is stiff, rising and falling together with me. Beauty was once there in the eyes of the beholder. But to me, there is more to what the eyes see.

I close my eyes. I hold her left hand. I feel the coldness of our wedding ring strikes into my heart. I feel beauty through her thin fingers, through her callous hands that dilligently caress every flowers she planted. I feel beauty through her bones that gently rock my children to sleep. I feel beauty through her skin that touches my face everytime I bid goodbye. My senses feel her beauty.

I look at her face. Her light is fading. My sight is fading too. But as everything fades, light pierces though my eyes. I blinked. And I know it's time. I draw closer to her lit face. She shines for the last time. God permits one last light.

"You have felt more pain than my soul can bear. Now I won't hold onto your presence. I will release your sufferings. I will hold our kids along with our memories of you. No worries. I'm letting you go."  

With my last whispery breath, her cheek falls to mine. I kiss her ear. I stroke her dark hair and lift my face. I see light falls on her forehead. I kiss the light. And I kiss goodbye.

More of you

Thursday, October 31, 2013

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Give me a little time
I need to make it fine

Give me a little token
Of those not spoken

Give me a little glance
So I know there's a chance

Of having

A little more of you


To dance under the rain

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

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To dance under the rain
the rain of sorrow pain
dying in Vain
vain of an abyss
abyss that clashes
clashes to ashes
from ashes to rise
rise from lies
lies that dies
dies for a space
a space of hope
hope for sight
sight of glance
glance of a dance



(posted by my friend, Oscar Karwur as a response  to the previously posted "Autumn Leaves")

An Auld Lang Syne to Cherish

Sunday, March 3, 2013

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Continuities
by Walt Whitman
(1819-1892)


Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost,
No birth, identity, form--no object of the world.
Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;
Appearance must not foil, nor shifted sphere confuse thy brain.
Ample are time and space--ample the fields of Nature.
The body, sluggish, aged, cold--the embers left from earlier fires,
The light in the eye grown dim, shall duly flame again;
The sun now low in the west rises for mornings and for noons continual;
To frozen clods ever the spring's invisible law returns,
With grass and flowers and summer fruits and corn.


This poem I first encountered in the movie "The Notebook" is indeed a life's representation of continuous hope and faith that all things will always come out good in God's time. When you feel lost; when you feel that you are just an object of disposal; or when you feel that you do not know who you really are in the midst of artificial society, you should not let anxiety overcome you. It is easy to be overwhelmed by your own fear and doubts. However, one thing that can help you find a turning point is hope.

Hope is what keeps human alive and "flame again". Hope is what motivates us to wake up every morning, knowing that the darkness enveloping us will be torn down and give rise to the sun. Hope motivates us to work things out in ways possible for us to do. Hopes without action is naught; it is a fresh seed left burnt and dead under the sun.

After hope comes faith. When you have hoped and done whatever is best for your hope to come true, faith comes in the form of believing and surrendering to God that all you have done will bear good fruits. To every "frozen clod" there will always be the return of spring's abundance and summer joy. To every obstacle there will always be enlightenment and at the end, an auld lang syne to cherish.

Life is a cycle of continuous hope and faith, and nothing is ever lost in that cycle. What you think is lost actually metamorphoses to a new thing through awakening life experiences. People say they loose money; they seldom appreciate the notion that by loosing money, they learn to be more careful. People say they loose their loved ones; it is just physical and nothing from their lovely memories will ever be lost. Maybe by loosing their loved ones, they acquire the enlightenment to make an effort to cherish the next in line. So many losts in fact give way to a better understanding of and better things to your life and others that intersect your path.

So never let yourself down in what seems to be a "shifted sphere", "dimming light", or "frozen clods" for shifted sphere will give rise to new lives, dimming light is just momentary, and that frozen clods will always melt and be green again.

Bright Saturday!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

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Today is an exceptionally bright Saturday for me. Up at 9.30 a.m. I feel so extraordinarily refreshed after a few days lack of sleep and overworked brain (I put all the blame on Freud!). I still have a few hours before 1 p.m., the designated time for my friends and I to meet up and go to Jogja to watch a concert, so I give myself a long, refreshing bath. After thinking for a few seconds what I'm gonna cook for today, I checked out my best friend's blog and saw her write about an awakening moment -and I do feel inspired at once.

(Check this out: Patricia Sugianto's blog)

This particular thing that she said, "The awakening moment begins when you start doing something different," is something that I realize I have been striving for these past few months. One of the most obvious is -see the word cook in bold in the last sentence above? That's it! Me, cooking? Yes, me, cooking. That is one different thing that has awed anyone who really knows me. By the way, I'm cooking fettucine carbonara and I will post the picture below for you to give you an idea on how much I love this new activity :D



Doing something different uplifts my spirit and I feel good, knowing that I am making a good change in my life. It also gives me a positive atmosphere because I get rid of my boring routine and stagnancy in my other aspects of life.

However, there is one thing that Patty said that got me into thinking, "Your tiny little details in life could bring to a journey that change other’s life."
I have succeeded in directing my life from a hazy road into a clear path through positive changes. So I am hoping I can make a contribution in someone's life that can help him/her get through their stagnancy or struggles. I have already had some close people in mind, and I know I have greatly contributed to the life of the people I love.

So one thing left to do is to stay committed to doing the best things for our life, while at the same time, spreading joyful positive ions that demolish people's negative ions and brighten both of our days!

Thanks my sist, Patty!


Autumn Leaves

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

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My soul longs to dance
to dance the autumn leaves
the autumn leaves in red
red hot fire
fire of the underworld
the underworld that longs
longs for a breeze
breeze of the evening wind
wind that caresses the dreams
the dreams of the earth
the earth for everyone
for everyone to be free
free like the autumn leaves
the autumn leaves that dance